Chivalry 100

The code of chivalry is often thought of today only in terms of the behavior of men toward women. It is so much more than that. The part of chivalry most remembered today is really better known as gentlemanly behavior. I’ve recently had requests for a crash course on being a gentleman so I will keep this a short yet overarching instruction on the manners of gentlemen.

A gentleman knows and follows the rules. The rules of polite society are sometimes insanely complicated. Luckily, many of them can be summarized within just a few categories.

Dressing: Easy! All the rules about black tie, white tie, casual, business, and other forms of dress are well documented. Whether or not you like them isn’t the issue. Ladies don’t like wearing stockings but we do. Also, no matter what you wear, make sure it is clean, without stains, and hole free. Yes, this means even the items “no one” will see.

No, this is not a stock photo. It was a real dinner I attended.
(It was wonderful.)

Dining: Use silverware starting from the outside and work your way in. Which fork? Use the one on the outside. Once the first course is cleared, the next set in is the one used. The staff will clear any silver which is no longer needed.

Drinking: Glasses have even easier rules. Use the one with something in it. Each course may have its own wine. The staff knows which glass to use so you don't have to. Also, know thy limits. At all times a gentleman must be prepared to defend his lady. Impaired judgement in such cases is a no go.

Dancing: Just be able to stand in one spot and move a bit. Most ladies will make you look good anyway.

Deferring: Always defer to a lady. More than anything else, this rule defines a gentleman. If you are sitting and there are no more seats, no lady should be standing in your presence. If you are walking with a lady, make sure she is on the inside of the walkway, away from traffic. If you are at a party and you are starving, so is she. Make sure she is fed first. And if after the party she asks you for the car keys, defer. She’ll thank you later.

For Love of Books

“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.”
―Jorge Luis Borges

I have a passion for books. Not just a passion for reading but for the books themselves. Every room in my house has at least one book in it. Downstairs alone has about 70 feet of linear book space. And, odd as it may sound, some of my friends have even more linear feet in less space. We love to discuss libraries and which books we collect for ourselves. A friendship between book lovers ensures you always have something new to discuss. Books tend to bind people as well as pages.

“In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.”
―Mark Twain

Books are compact, portable, repositories of knowledge. While there are plenty of television shows which leave me feeling short several IQ points, there are very few books I feel that way about (cough *Thomas Hardy* cough). As much as I read, I still look forward to the knowledge that lies inside a new book. Sometimes knowledge can be scary; however, that makes it more valuable. Inside Cyber Warfare is an excellent example of such a book. I read it in small increments as one might a Stephen King novel. But, as disturbing as it is, the insight is invaluable when working with computers and security on a daily basis. Yes, books give more information about the world of computers than the machines themselves ever will.

“When I have a little money, I buy books; and if I have any left,

I buy food and clothes.”
―Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus

Books are art. An artist may starve but books will feed the soul in more ways than one. On occasion I am struck with the sheer beauty of a book. The smell of a leather book is a heady one. I find leather covers intoxicating not only for their smell but for what they promise. Like a good meal, a beautiful book begins with just the scent. Placed in front of you, the book reveals what wonders lie behind the cover. Bindings sewn by hand and silk moiré end papers come together between carefully stamped gold embossing. Delicious.

When restoring books of historical significance, hiring a true craftsman is essential. Fred Shihadeh was one such craftsman. Needing some books repaired, Fred met an old bookbinder while staying in Bremerhaven in 1960. A voracious reader, Fred took a six month apprenticeship with the old bookbinder who was in desperate need of shop help. Fred learned everything he could from the man and afterward, travelled Europe to learn more.

After returning to the United States he and his wife, Elka, started a custom bookbindery and repair business. His beautiful work and knowledge of an almost lost art led them to commissions of historical significance including the repair of an original two-volume set of the Federalist Papers. The work of Fred and Elka Shihadeh continues to this day in their custom leather restorative FredElka Formula (now called Accessible Preservatives). It is used by book lovers and libraries around the globe.

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
―Groucho Marx

Books are companions. To the traveler, they are a piece of home, away from home. To the homebound they are a new adventure outside the walls of the sickroom. They are not offended when put aside for a moment. Like a good friend, they understand the frailties of the reader and are happy to pick up right where you left off. We grow attached to their characters to the point of laughing, crying, and even sharing their antics with others. Beware the avid reader in the middle of a good book. They are prone to both shushing and sharing. Grandmothers may seem annoying when sharing baby pictures but a reader enjoying a good book will practically hold you against your will until they’ve shared a particularly good paragraph. Never mind that you have no clue what the plot is or who these characters are; this is important and you will listen.

Some of the best characters I've ever met are the ones who work inside the world of books. Jasper Fforde’s Thursday Next novels are about one such character. Thursday Next is a literary detective. Her job is working inside books to manage misdemeanor misspellings,solve the mysteries of out of character antics (I imagine Hermione has been thoroughly grilled), and save the hanging participles from their precarious perches. Perhaps I identify with Thursday a little too well.

“Books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials,
no batteries, hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent.”
―Stephen King

Books are real. They are not subject to power outages, battery shortages or internet failures. Hard copies of books are worth their weight in platinum when marooned on a desert island or the Duluth airport in the dead of winter. Amazon cannot snatch the book back from you when a lawsuit threatens their profits. This actually happened to Kindle users. From NPR’s story in 2009:

More people are getting used to reading e-books on devices like the Sony Reader or the Amazon Kindle. Recently Kindle owners who had purchased George Orwell's 1984 or Animal Farm had their books snatched back by Amazon when a rights issue arose. The buyers were credited their $9.99, but such a recall could never have happened with actual books.

This story plays into my worst fears for Western civilization. I have nightmares that something horrible will happen to the Library of Congress and it will be Alexandria all over again. If an electronic book can be deleted, it can also be modified, and without a hard copy, could you prove it?

Finally, I leave you with this: If you still doubt their value, you should know they make wonderful bullet stoppers when stacked in a window during a zombie apocalypse. Please don't ask me how I know this.