The code of chivalry is often thought of today only in terms
of the behavior of men toward women. It is so much more than that. The part of
chivalry most remembered today is really better known as gentlemanly behavior.
I’ve recently had requests for a crash course on being a gentleman so I will
keep this a short yet overarching instruction on the manners of gentlemen.
A gentleman knows and
follows the rules. The rules of polite society are sometimes insanely
complicated. Luckily, many of them can be summarized within just a few
categories.
Dressing: Easy!
All the rules about black tie, white tie, casual, business, and other forms of
dress are well documented. Whether or not you like them isn’t the issue. Ladies
don’t like wearing stockings but we do. Also, no matter what you wear, make
sure it is clean, without stains, and hole free. Yes, this means even the items
“no one” will see.
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| No, this is not a stock photo. It was a real dinner I attended. (It was wonderful.) |
Drinking: Glasses have even easier rules. Use the one with something in it. Each course may have its own wine. The staff knows which glass to use so you don't have to. Also, know
thy limits. At all times a gentleman must be prepared to defend his lady.
Impaired judgement in such cases is a no go.
Dancing: Just be
able to stand in one spot and move a bit. Most ladies will make you look good
anyway.
Deferring: Always
defer to a lady. More than anything else, this rule defines a gentleman. If you
are sitting and there are no more seats, no lady should be standing in your
presence. If you are walking with a lady, make sure she is on the inside of the
walkway, away from traffic. If you are at a party and you are starving, so is
she. Make sure she is fed first. And if after the party she asks you for the
car keys, defer. She’ll thank you later.
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